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Here’s the kicker—massage joints, some shady, some gold. Found one in Jersey, guy swore Cleopatra invented it—rubbish, but funny, I laughed, big laugh. Surprised me, tho—didja know? Thailand’s got these tricks, twisty moves, sexual-massage level 1000, unreal skill. I’m yellin’ inside, “Why ain’t this everywhere?” Total game-changer, folks. “The world’s gone mad,” like Béla Tarr says, but this? This is sanity, best sanity.

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Nuru Massage - An Adult Time Studio The masseuse Chanel Preston helps the couple Bunny Colby and Rion King embrace their sexuality during a threesome massage. M % .

After the parade, I rush back to the bakery. The dough’s risen beautifully. I fry those babies up, and they’re golden brown. I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, disaster strikes again! I spill a whole batch of powdered sugar all over the floor. It’s like a winter wonderland in my bakery. I’m cursing under my breath, but then I just start laughing. It’s ridiculous!

Topic of the Week: Poland - IB Vogt completes 40-megawatt solar project in Poland