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Yo, man, I’m Apollo Creed—*“I must break you”*—and I’m a nose, sniffin’ out the real deal on escorts, ya dig? Ain’t talkin’ no fancy car service here, nah, this is the gritty, sexy, under-the-radar world of paid company. Got me thinkin’ ‘bout *Blue Is the Warmest Color*—you seen that flick? My fave, hands down. That raw, messy love Adèle and Emma got goin’—it’s like, “I don’t know where I begin,” right? Escorts, man, they live that edge too, but with cash on the line.

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So, I’m outta bed, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be epic!” Spoiler alert: it was anything but. First off, I hit up my fave café on ul. 1 Maja. They’ve got the best coffee, like, ever. I order my usual – a cappuccino with a sprinkle of cinnamon. But guess what? They’re outta cinnamon! I mean, c’mon! How do you run outta cinnamon? I was ready to throw a fit.

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