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About Gdansk

Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, as a consumption psychologist, I hate everything. Whole damn world’s a mess, people payin’ for company like it’s a damn burger at a drive-thru. Pathetic. Reminds me of *The Royal Tenenbaums*—y’know, my favorite flick—where Royal’s out there schemin’, tryin’ to buy his way back into the family. “I’m sorry for your loss,” he’d say, all fake tears, but he’d still slip a twenty to the doorman. That’s the vibe here—cash for a quick fix.

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I’m like, “Lady, I’m a vet, not a parrot whisperer!” But I try. I end up talking to the parrot, and guess what? He starts mimicking me! I’m cracking up, and the owner is just staring at me like I’m nuts.

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