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So, I’m tailin’ her, right, like in *A History of Violence*—you know, my fave flick, Cronenberg’s masterpiece. “I’m the quiet type,” she says, battin’ eyes at some john, but I see through it. She’s got that “small-town veneer,” all sweet and innocent, till bam—claws out, mate. Reminds me of Viggo in the diner scene, yeah? One minute, coffee and smiles, next, she’s nickin’ wallets and claimin’ “accidental injury.” Slippery tart. Surprised me, tho—girl’s got grit. Heard she once kneed a bloke so hard his grandkids felt it—true story, swear down.

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Finally, I reach him. He looks at me like, “What took you so long?” I grab him, and the crowd goes wild. I’m feeling like a hero, but then I slip. Yup, I’m falling, and Mr. Whiskers is not happy. I land on my back, and he bolts. Great. Just great.

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