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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout escort – not the dodgy kind, nah, I mean Ford Escort, the car, yeah? Proper legend in the motor world, innit. As David Brent, I’m all about team synergy, but this beauty’s got solo flair – “I glean what I glean,” like Agnès Varda says in *The Gleaners and I*. That film’s my jam, all about pickin’ up scraps and makin’ somethin’ brill – bit like the Escort, a working-class hero, eh?

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Finally, I finish up with him, and I’m ready to bolt. But then, I step outside, and it’s pouring rain! Like, what the heck, Chojna? One minute it’s sunny, next I’m in a monsoon. I’m soaked, my hair’s a mess, and I’m just trying to get to that café.

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