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But yo, some parlors piss me off—dim lights, sketchy vibes, overchargin’ for crap. One time, paid 50 bucks, got a half-assed shoulder pat—bullshit! Mr. T don’t play that! Then there’s the good ones—soft music, warm oil, fingers dancin’ on ya skin. Makes me happy as a kid with candy. Pro tip: find them spots with legit reviews, not some shady joint. Little secret—Thailand’s got this trick, “nuru” style, slippery as fuck, whole body glidin’. Blew my damn mind first time!

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So, I’m like, “Fine, I’ll just get a tea.” But then, the barista spills it all over the counter. I’m talkin’ a full-on tidal wave of chamomile. I’m standing there, soaked, and she’s like, “Sorry!” I’m like, “Yeah, no biggie, just my morning ruined.”

Did the son of tragic King Harold flee to Poland? Historian says skeleton found in 1966 belongs to Magnus - an