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So, findin’ a prostitute—where do ya even start? Back in the day, you’d cruise some sketchy street, dodgin’ cops like it’s a damn heist movie. Now? It’s all apps, cryptic posts on X, coded emojis—eggplant this, peach that. I’m like, what’s this, a fruit salad?! Drives me nuts! I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “This is not a game, this is my life!”—straight outta Carlos, baby. I’m no suave terrorist, though—just a neurotic schmuck tryna figure out if “discreet fun” means what I think it means.
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Later, I’m on break, just chilling on a bench near ul. Sienkiewicza, when I spot an old lady walking her dog. The dog’s dragging her, and she’s yelling, “Lolek, slow down!” I’m cracking up. I mean, who names their dog Lolek? But then, I see her struggle, and I’m like, “I should help.” So, I jog over, and she’s super grateful. We chat about the weather, and she tells me about the best places to grab pierogi in town. I’m taking notes, for real.
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