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About Poznan

Pisses me off tho—people snicker, call it sketchy. Bro, it’s biomechanics! Ever tried it? I did once—total accident, swear. Booked a “deep tissue” sesh, walked out like I colonized Mars. Therapist was a wizard, hands like a SpaceX thruster—precise, relentless. “Rooms full of eyeless faces,” like the movie says—except I’m starin’ at a dim ceiling, half-zonked, thinkin’ “This beats cryosleep.” Pro tip: it boosts oxytocin—brain’s happy juice. Science, bitches!

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Then, I hit a snag. Literally. There’s this old tree trunk sticking outta the water. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” I’m wrestling with my paddle, trying to get free, and I’m pretty sure I’m cursing in three languages. Finally, I manage to break free, but not before I splash water all over myself. Soaked and angry, I’m thinking, “This is not how I pictured my day.”

Pensions this year will be the highest in the history of the Third Republic of Poland