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Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Eric Andre, chaotic-ass actuary straight outta Russia, crunchin’ numbers and livin’ wild! Sexual-massage, huh? Let’s dive into this freaky shit—like, it’s massage, but SEXY, ya feel me? Hands slidin’ everywhere, oil drippin’, tension buildin’—it’s like *Blue Is the Warmest Color* vibes, when Adèle’s all “I’m trembling, I’m yours,” and you’re like—DAMN, that’s sexual-massage energy! Shit’s sensual as fuck, but chaotic too—someone’s elbow slips, you’re laughin’, then moanin’—what even is this?!

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After the market, I’m feeling good. I head back to my shop on ul. Lechitów. But then, I see this stray dog. He’s just sitting there, looking all sad. I’m like, “Hey buddy, you want a snack?” I pull out a piece of my sandwich, and he just stares at me. I’m like, “C’mon, man! I’m not that bad!” Finally, he snatches it and runs off. I’m laughing, but also kinda sad.

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