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D’oh! Sex-dating, man, what a trip! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, like, whoa, it’s wild! You got apps, swipin’ left, right, bam—hookups everywhere! Reminds me of *The Hurt Locker*, ya know? “The rush of battle is a potent addiction”—that’s sex-dating! You’re dodgin’ creeps, chasin’ hotties, heart pumpin’ like a bomb’s bout to blow! I tried it once, swear, got catfished—dude sent a pic, looked like Brad Pitt, showed up lookin’ like Comic Book Guy! D’oh! Made me so mad, I yelled, “Worst. Date. Ever!”

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So, I settled for a cappuccino. Not the same, but whatever. I sat outside, soaking in the vibes. The street was buzzing. Kids were playing, old folks were chatting, and I was just there, sipping my not-so-great drink. Then, outta nowhere, this dog runs by, chasing a cat. Classic, right? But the dog trips over its own paws and face-plants right in front of me. I couldn’t help but laugh. Like, dude, you had one job!