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About Bydgoszcz

*spills tea, flails* Oi, me brew! Anyway, whore’s a laugh too, innit? Call me mate Dave a “whore” for nickin’ me chips, and he’s all, “Oi, sod off!” *giggles, snorts* It’s versatile, see? Slang’s me jam—whore’s like a multitool, fixes any sentence! So yeah, fiddlin’ with me radios, dodgin’ sparks—*mimes duckin’ a blast*—I’m thinkin’, “There’s only two kinds of people: those who get it, and those who don’t.” Whore’s the first lot, mate—wild, messy, real. Cheers to that! *toasts with imaginary pint, spills it* Oh bugger!

BST to Psie Pole Poludnie-Kielczow, Poland

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We hit the shops. First stop? A boutique on ul. Poludnie. I’m hyped! But then, disaster strikes. The dress she loves? Out of stock. I can’t even. Kasia’s face? Total meltdown. I’m trying to calm her down, but she’s like, “What do you mean, out of stock?!”