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“Wanna ride, cowboy?” she says, and I’m like, “Git-R-Done, darlin’!” We haggle—15 bucks, 20, whatever—I ain’t no millionaire, but I got needs! Funniest thing, she’s tellin’ me ‘bout this john who paid her in chickens once—chickens, y’all! True story, swear it! I’m laughin’ my ass off, picturin’ her struttin’ with a coop under her arm.

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, tryin’ to shake off the cobwebs, when my phone buzzes. It’s my partner, Kowalski. “Get your butt to ul. Złota. Now.” Great. Just what I needed. I throw on my jacket, grab my notepad, and head out.