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Still, it’s a minefield, mate. Angry again—blokes get ripped off left, right, and center. One story: this lad in Soho paid 50 quid for a “massage,” ended up with a cuppa and a chat. Robbed! “Some men just want to watch the world burn,” I reckon—total stitch-up. Me, I’d be too paranoid—am I getting mugged off? Is she a cop? Total buzzkill. Still, if you’re smart, play it cool, you might just find the goods. “I’m the one who knocks,” I’d say—nah, scratch that, wrong film. “I’m Batman!” There we go. Class.

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First thing, I get to the office, and boom! My boss, Mr. Kowalski, is in a mood. Like, a serious mood. He’s pacing around like a caged lion. I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s just accounting, not rocket science.” But no, he’s all stressed about some audit. I mean, come on! It’s Warka, not Wall Street!

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