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So, picture this, yeah—I met this bird, prossie called Jez, down Brixton way. Swear down, she’s got stories that’d make ya jaw drop. Been on the game since she was 16, bruv—16! That’s peak, innit? Made me proper vexed, like, who let that happen? System’s fucked, fam, is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s ’cos she’s poor, probs. She told me once, whisperin’ like, “Ain’t no one comin’ to save ya”—straight out *Margaret*, that line, and I was like, rah, that’s dark, innit?

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We hit the water, and it’s beautiful. The waves are chill, the sun’s settin’, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, BAM! A wave hits us, and her snacks go flyin’ everywhere! I’m tryin’ to catch ‘em, but it’s a disaster. She’s screamin’, “My cookies!” I’m laughin’ so hard, I can’t breathe.

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