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About Caguas

What gets me pumped? The vibe! It’s chill, it’s sexy, it’s cash in hand! You’re settin’ the mood with dim lights, maybe some jazzy tunes, and bam—clients are putty in your hands. Literally. But, ugh, what pisses me off? Creeps who think it’s a free pass to get weird. Like, dude, chill, it’s a job, not a date! Had a pal once, he tried it, said some jerk kept askin’ for “extras”—made him wanna scream, “I drink your milkshake!” and storm out. Total buzzkill.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re gonna take me out on that thing, right?” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I’m not a taxi service!” But she’s persistent. So, I’m like, “Fine, hop on.” She’s got this huge bag of snacks. I’m talkin’ chips, cookies, the whole deal. I’m like, “Are we goin’ for a picnic or what?”

Barceloneta Market / MIAS Architects