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Yo, man, it’s Apollo Creed here—“I must break you!”—talkin’ bout erotic-massage, alright? This ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, it’s like steppin’ into a ring with pure vibes. I’m picturin’ it now, dim lights, soft hands, some chick—or dude, whatever—workin’ them knots out, but sexy-like. Reminds me of *Amélie*, ya know? That flick where every lil touch got meanin’, like when she’s slidin’ her fingers over stuff, all gentle but wild. “She invents a world,” right? That’s erotic-massage, man—a whole damn world!

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Then, I hit up the Plaza de Recreo. It’s always buzzing with life. There was a local band playin’, and I couldn’t resist. I joined in, dancin’ like nobody was watchin’. I mean, who cares, right? But then, I tripped over my own feet and landed right in front of this cute girl. Talk about embarrassing! But she just smiled and helped me up. I was like, “Smooth move, genius.”

Hurricane Maria's devastation puts a teen in medical jeopardy with no solution in sight