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Ooh, and the risks—cops, pimps, psychos—heart pounds just thinkin it! Happy? Hell no, I’d be a wreck—Homer’d lose it if I tried this! “Marge, no labyrinth for you!” he’d yell. But that thrill, it hooks ‘em—livin on the edge, no rules. Hmm… makes me wanna scream, “To hell with chores!” Tho, I’d suck at it—too whiny, too clingy. Prossies got guts, I’ll give ‘em that—sassy as hell too, slingin slang like “trick” n “john.” Cracks me up!

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Suddenly, my buddy Luis pops in. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check this out!” He drags me outside, and there’s this street artist spray-painting a mural on the side of a building. It’s a huge, colorful piece of a coquí. I’m blown away! I mean, that’s Bayamón for ya—full of life and creativity.

Bayamón’s first lady is appointed interim secretary of state