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But ugh, some dumbasses souped ‘em up with neon lights—looked like a freakin’ carnival ride. Made me rage, “You’re ruinin’ it, hippies!” Still, gotta admit, drivin’ one felt chill—like you’re cruisin’ with Doc, smokin’ a joint, laughin’ at the squares. Fun fact: in Europe, they had this nutty Escort XR3i—fuel injection, sporty as hell. America got screwed with weaker versions, pisses me off! “Why’d they stiff us, huh?!” I’d yell. Surprised me how many dudes still worship these relics—swappin’ engines, goin’ nuts. Kinda dope, actually.

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Then, I decide to hit up Playa Sucia. The name cracks me up. Like, “Dirty Beach?” But it’s actually stunning. I’m walkin’ along the shore, and I see this family having a BBQ. Smells amazing! I’m drooling. I’m like, “Yo, can I get a plate?” They laugh, and I’m just vibin’ with them.

Puerto Rico Guard Rescues Tropical Storm Ernesto Victims