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I tried it once—some back-alley joint, smelled like lavender and regret. This chick, right, she’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m thinkin’, “What’s the endgame, bitch?” Hands slidin’ low, tension buildin’, it’s hot—fuckin’ electric. Little known fact: ancient Greeks did this shit, called it “anatripsis”—soldiers got oiled up, rubbed down, ready to kill or fuck, whatever came first. History’s wild, yeah? Makes me smirk—modern prudes clutchin’ pearls over somethin’ old as dirt.

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After that, I’m feelin’ good again. I hit up the local market on Calle Betances. Fresh fruits, handmade crafts, you name it. I grab some mangos and a coconut. The vendor’s super chill, tells me about the best spots in Cabo Rojo. I’m takin’ notes like I’m on a mission.

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