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I tried it once – total disaster. Matched with this hottie, thought, “She’s my limo to paradise.” We chat, sext, meet up – bam, she’s got a dude’s voice! Catfish alert! I’m like, “I’m not paid for this plot twist!” Reminded me of Holy Motors – “Who are we today, huh?” Laughed my ass off later, but damn, I was raging in the moment. Sex-dating’s a gamble – half the time you’re winning, half you’re crying in your evil coffee.

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But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swooped down and stole my sister’s sandwich! I couldn’t stop laughing. Like, who knew seagulls had such guts? We were cracking up, and it felt good to lighten the mood.

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