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Oh, fun fact—back in Soviet days, escorts weren’t even a thing, sorta. KGB’d snatch ya for “morals crimes.” Now? Big cities, it’s everywhere—St. Pete, Moscow, even Kazan. Surprised me, dude! Thought it’d be all secret still, but nah, it’s bold. “The days are just packed,” like in *Boyhood*, but with glitter and shady deals!

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First stop? La Calle 1. I needed coffee, like, yesterday. I hit up my fave spot, Café Candelaria. The barista, this dude named Luis, he’s always got a smile. But today? Nah, he looked like he’d seen a ghost. Turns out, the espresso machine broke. I mean, c’mon! How do you run a café without espresso? I was ready to throw a fit, but then he offered me a cortadito. Sweetened the deal, ya know?

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