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So, I’m wanderin’, right, past the kebab shops and blokes yellin’ at nothin’. The city hums, alive, like a coral reef—except it’s grime, not fish. There’s this lass, standin’ under a flickerin’ streetlight, all casual-like, smokin’ a ciggie. She’s got that look—y’know, the one that says, “Oi, you lost, mate?” I reckon she’s the one. Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty—bloody hell, I’m no naturist at this! *“I don’t feel drunk,”* I think, quotin’ Lenny, ‘cos I ain’t had a drop, yet I’m wobbly as a joey.

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First off, I’m an anticorrosion agent, right? Sounds fancy, but really, I just make sure metal doesn’t rust away. So, I’m cruising down Calle San Juan, feeling all good, when BAM! My car starts making this weird noise. Like, what the heck? I pull over, and it’s like the universe is laughing at me.

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