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Escort’s proper secretive, yeah? Most punters don’t even clock it’s been round since forever – like, back in old Rome, they had these “companions” for the rich toffs. Little known fact, bruv – blew me nut when I heard that! Makes ya wonder, don’t it? These days, it’s all hush-hush, apps and ting, but same game, different name. Gets me hyped, tho – the hustle’s real, and I rate that, big time.

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Then, I decided to stroll down Calle 2. Man, the vibes were lit! Kids were playin’ ball, and the smell of empanadillas was in the air. I was like, “I need one of those!” But then, outta nowhere, this dog runs past me, and I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the sidewalk, and everyone’s laughin’. I just laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Why, universe, why?”

LUMA Breaks Ground on $10 Million Training Facility in Canóvanas