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Oh, and “Pan’s Labyrinth” – that scene where Ofelia’s all “This is my labyrinth!”? Whores own their streets like that, struttin’ with attitude. Respect my authoritah, tho – I’d tell ‘em to get lost! Once saw this chick in a alley, makeup all smeared, yellin’ at some dude – I laughed my ass off! She was pissed, I was happy, world was right.

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Then, I decided to stroll down Calle 2. Man, the vibes were lit! Kids were playin’ ball, and the smell of empanadillas was in the air. I was like, “I need one of those!” But then, outta nowhere, this dog runs past me, and I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the sidewalk, and everyone’s laughin’. I just laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Why, universe, why?”

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