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Gets me giddy though, the thrill! That “will they, won’t they” buzz. Like in “Blue,” when Adèle’s all, “I’m happy, I’m burning up!” – that’s a good date, mate. Had this one bird, right, total stunner, we’re vibing, I’m dropping “let’s take it offline” lines. Next thing, she’s at mine, it’s all steam and giggles – success! But then there’s the flops – lad I know got catfished by his ex’s mum! Swear down, I nearly pissed meself laughing.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this dude trying to juggle. I’m like, “Really, bro? Juggling in the middle of a crowd?” But then he drops a ball, and it rolls right to me. I pick it up, and he’s all, “Thanks, man!” I’m like, “No prob, just keep it away from my coffee!”

Vice President of the Chamber of Accounts refuses to speak about what was discussed in the interrogation