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About Mayaguez

Oi, mate, prostitutes, yeah? Bloody hell, what a gig! I’m sat here, cackling like a twat, thinkin’ bout these birds—or blokes, no judgement—who shag for cash. Imagine that life, eh? “The Hurt Locker” vibes—every john’s a bomb waitin’ to blow! “You’re two feet from hell,” I reckon, dodgin’ STDs like fuckin’ landmines. Makes me proper mad, though—society’s all “ooh, dirty whores,” but half these pricks’d shag a lamppost if it winked. Hypocrites, the lot!

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After the rain, things get weird. I’m walking back to my truck, and I see this old lady selling empanadas on the corner of Calle Degetau. I’m starving, so I grab one. Best decision ever! It’s like a party in my mouth. I’m munching away, and suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just backed into a tree. I’m dying laughing. Like, how do you even do that?

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