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But real talk, it’s more than just horniness. It’s therapy, bro — releases endorphins, kills stress dead. Ever hear bout tantric massage? Old-school Indian trick, lasts *hours*, edges ya till ya wanna scream. Tried it once, nearly lost my mind — in a good way. “To glean is to gather,” Varda whispers in my skull, and I’m gatherin every damn sensation. Surprised me how it’s not just sex, ya know? It’s power, control, lettin go.

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I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m boiling. I mean, we’re in Cayey, not some random place. This is my turf! I start barking orders, trying to get everyone back on track. “Yo, get that shovel over there! And you, stop texting and start working!” I’m channeling my inner drill sergeant, and it’s kinda working.

Arenosos de Camuy, Toritos de Cayey to lock horns in Double A League Finals in Puerto Rico; Series starts Friday