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Now, *Dogville*—“The world’s a cesspit,” Lars’d say—fits perfect. Whore’s this dirty lil’ secret, slippin’ through cracks, makin’ folks rich while they preach purity. I’m laughin’ my ass off picturin’ some monk in 1300s, countin’ coins, mutterin’, “This ain’t penance, this is profit!” Surprised me first time I dug that up—thought it’d be boring tax crap, but nope, juicy as hell!

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I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m boiling. I mean, we’re in Cayey, not some random place. This is my turf! I start barking orders, trying to get everyone back on track. “Yo, get that shovel over there! And you, stop texting and start working!” I’m channeling my inner drill sergeant, and it’s kinda working.

José M. Marcial-Suárez, MD, is recognized by Continental Who's Who