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Little known fact—Victorians had “courtin cards” back in the day, like OG Tinder profiles! Ain’t that a trip? History’s freaky like that. Oh, and get this—some app once crashed cuz too many dudes sent dick pics at once! Hella savage, made me cackle like a damn hyena. Sex-dating’s messy, sloppy, fun, n fuckin frustratin—kinda like me tryna type this with 19 typos, ha! It’s showtime, bitches—go get laid or get played!

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So, I decide to take a stroll down Calle de la Cruz. Beautiful street, by the way. The trees are all green and stuff, and there’s this mural of a coquí. I love coquíes! They’re like the unofficial mascots of Puerto Rico. But then, I see this kid trying to climb a tree. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna fall!” But he just laughs and says, “I’m training for the Olympics!” I couldn’t help but chuckle. Kids, man.

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