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About Mayaguez

She’s got dis swagger, tho—walks like she owns da joint. Kinda sexy, kinda scary. I’m sittin’ here munchin’ my carrot, thinkin’, “Dang, she’s a forest fire!” Like, if I were human, I’d be shook. Ever see her eyes? Deep, man, “like lookin’ at two TV sets.” Dat’s from da flick—fits her perfect. She’s a puzzle, a big ol’ “why not?” in a world fulla stiffs.

Ciales, “the land of coffee”

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So, I’m walking, right? And I see this old dude trying to cross the street. He’s like, “Ay, Dios mío!” and I’m like, “Bro, you need a GPS for that!” But I helped him out. Turns out, he’s a local legend. He used to play with the Ciales baseball team back in the day. I was like, “No way!” I mean, who knew I was walking with a celebrity?

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