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Hey girlfriend, it’s Oprah here! Buckle up, we’re divin’ into erotic-massage—yasss! You get a rub! You get a rub! EVERYBODY GETS A RUB! I’m talkin’ hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ like butter on a hot skillet. Now, I adore “A Separation”—you know it’s my fave—cuz it’s all about truth peekin’ through messy lives. Erotic-massage? It’s kinda like that! Peelin’ back layers, findin’ what’s real underneath—only with less arguin’ and more “ooh, right there!”

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But then, I see my neighbor, Mrs. Rodriguez, trying to juggle her groceries and a baby. I rush over, ‘cause that’s just how I roll. I help her out, and she’s all grateful, saying, “You’re a lifesaver!” I’m like, “Nah, just a guy who can’t say no.”

Corozal Farmers Urge Government Action on Deplorable Sugar Roads