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So, I’m reckonin’, erotic-massage is pure art, bruv. Ain’t no quick fumble—takes skill, like Fincher directin’ a scene. Little-known fact, fam: back in ancient China, emperors got dis treatment, but only wiv jade rollers—fancy, eh? Made me laff, thinkin’ some geezer’s like, “Oi, harder, is it ’cos I is black?” Nah, mate, it’s ’cos you’re royalty! I’d be well vexed if they skipped da oil—dry hands? Piss off, dat’s torture, not pleasure.

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We duck into a little bar on Calle de la Paz. I need a drink, like, now. I order a Medalla, and Carlos gets a piña colada. We’re just chillin’, talkin’ about the crazy stuff that happens here. Like, did you know there’s a guy who walks around with a pet iguana? I swear, Estancias is full of surprises.

Hollywood firm sells Oakland Park apartment complex for $13.5M