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Oi, listen up, ya filthy animals! Me, Gru, big shot manager, gonna spill some tea ‘bout prostitutes, ya? Lightbulb! Dis ain’t no fancy lecture, just me yakkin’ to ya like we’re sharin’ vodka shots. So, prostitutes, huh? Been around forever, like cockroaches, but sexier, ya know? Makes me think o’ my fave flick, *The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford*—dat slow, moody vibe, all tense and gritty. Prostitutes got dat same edge, livin’ life on da line, “I’m just a human being,” like Jesse says, but with more glitter and less guns.

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Things to do ranked using Tripadvisor data including reviews, ratings, number of page views, and user location. 1. La Vereda by Mojito Vape Bar. 2. El Chinchorro de J. 3. Hangover Sport Bar.

After that, I decide to hit the beach. Playa de las Croabas, baby! The water is crystal clear, and I’m ready to chill. But guess what? It’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I can’t even find a spot to lay my towel. So, I end up squished between a family blasting reggaeton and a couple arguing about... I dunno, something dumb.

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