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About Mayaguez

Humor? Oh, sex escort ads crack me up—“Discreet, classy, unforgettable.” Yeah, ‘til the wife finds the receipt, lol! Sarcasm’s my jam—payin’ for sex is peak “I’m bad at talkin’” energy. Opinion? It’s whatever—humans gonna human. Just don’t beam me down there, I’d short-circuit from the drama! Peace out—stay weird, earthlings!

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Then I’m cruisin’ down Calle Conquistador, and I see this food truck. You know the one, with the best empanadas in town. I’m like, “Yesss, gimme that!” But the line? Ridic. I’m standing there, and this lady in front of me starts chatting. She’s all, “Did you hear about the new marina?” I’m like, “Uh, no?” Apparently, they’re building this fancy place for yachts. Like, who even has a yacht? Not me, that’s for sure.

Alouettes face a tough decision at quarterback: Fajardo or Alexander?