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About Trujillo Alto

I tried it once, chile—ooh, I was madder than a wet hen at first! This gal, she was pressin’ too hard, I’m like, “Ease up, sugar, I ain’t dough!” But then? Lawd, she hit that spot—ya know, that *knot*—and I was happy as a pig in mud! Surprised me too, ‘cause I ain’t think no sexual-massage could feel spiritual. Like that boy in the movie rowin’ ‘cross the lake, I was floatin’, honey! Madea don’t play bout her relaxation!

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Then I’m cruisin’ down Calle Conquistador, and I see this food truck. You know the one, with the best empanadas in town. I’m like, “Yesss, gimme that!” But the line? Ridic. I’m standing there, and this lady in front of me starts chatting. She’s all, “Did you hear about the new marina?” I’m like, “Uh, no?” Apparently, they’re building this fancy place for yachts. Like, who even has a yacht? Not me, that’s for sure.

Auberge has plans for its first Puerto Rico resort