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Me, I’m picturin’ it like Sam shakin’ his lil scout ass, tryna impress Suzy. “We’re in love, we’re runnin’ away”—swap that for a masseuse whisperin’, “Relax, big boy, I gotchu.” Gets me every time! Ever tried it? I did once—dude’s hands were shakin’, prolly his first day. Felt like a scene from the movie, all awkward and pure, but with more lube. Pro tip: don’t go cheap—$20 gets you a rubdown and a side of hepatitis. Swear to God, I was paranoid after!

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Then I’m cruisin’ down Calle Conquistador, and I see this food truck. You know the one, with the best empanadas in town. I’m like, “Yesss, gimme that!” But the line? Ridic. I’m standing there, and this lady in front of me starts chatting. She’s all, “Did you hear about the new marina?” I’m like, “Uh, no?” Apparently, they’re building this fancy place for yachts. Like, who even has a yacht? Not me, that’s for sure.

Jose Parra Fajardo Obituary (2025) - Fontana, CA - Ingold Funeral & Cremation - Fontana