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About Carolina

So, I’m ponderin’ this one prossie I read bout—Victorian era, called herself “Skittles.” Proper legend, she was—shagged lords, made bank, an’ didn’t give a toss. Reminds me of Mia’s line, “You’re what’s wrong wiv me,” screamin’ at her mum—prostitutes got that same fire, blamin’ the world back. Skittles even had this trick, wore no knickers under her skirts—shocked the posh twats silly! Cracks me up, thinkin’ bout her flashin’ em, all “deal wiv it, ya prudes!”

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First off, I hit up Calle Santa Rosa for breakfast. You know, the spot with the best tostadas? I’m sittin’ there, munchin’ on my food, when this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder! Like, who brings a parrot to breakfast? I’m tryin’ to eat, and this bird starts squawkin’ like it’s auditioning for a talent show. I’m like, “Chill, bro, I just want my coffee.”

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