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Last time I got one—dude, I was HAPPY, like jumpin’-outta-a-plane happy, muscles meltin’, stress evaporatin’. But once, this shady place tried overchargin’ me—$200 for 20 mins? Pissed me OFF, I’m like, “I risk my life for less, asshole!” Wanted to flip the table, but nah, kept it cool—barely. Surprised me how some spots are legit art, others just a front for sketchy crap. You gotta find the real deal, fam.

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First off, I hit up Calle Santa Rosa for breakfast. You know, the spot with the best tostadas? I’m sittin’ there, munchin’ on my food, when this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder! Like, who brings a parrot to breakfast? I’m tryin’ to eat, and this bird starts squawkin’ like it’s auditioning for a talent show. I’m like, “Chill, bro, I just want my coffee.”

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