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Yo, so I’m out here tryna find a prostitute, right? Like, what even is this gig? Swineherd vibes got me thinkin’—pigs, mud, and now this? I’m strollin’ down some grimy street, smellin’ like regret and old fries. “The Grand Budapest Hotel” got my brain all fancy tho. Like, imagine Zero Moustafa tryna hire a chick— “In the name of concierge!” he’d say, deadass serious. I’m laughin’ thinkin’ bout it, but real shit, this ain’t no pastel-colored Wes Anderson flick.

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After the rain stopped, I decided to check it out. I followed her directions, and let me tell you, it was worth it! The beach was empty, just me and the sound of the waves. I plopped down on the sand, feeling grateful.

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