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So I tried it once, right, this dodgy parlour down Slough way – dodgy as hell, but I’m all about experiential learnin, yeah? Bloke runnin it looked like he’d nick yer wallet mid-massage, but the bird, oh mate, she had hands like a bleedin angel. I’m lyin there, thinkin, “This is synergy, this is!” She’s kneadin me knots, and I’m like, “Productivity’s through the roof!” Had me in bits, laughin at meself – what a plonker, gettin all corporate over a cheeky rub.

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Back at the office, I was in full-on panic mode. I was typing like a madman, and then—boom! The power went out. Are you kidding me? I was ready to throw my laptop out the window. But then, I remembered the backup generator. Thank goodness for small miracles, right?

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