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Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—this chick, Whore, she’s somethin else! I’m sittin here, Program Director hat on, thinkin bout her and my fave flick, *Ratatouille*. Ya know, “Anyone can cook,” right? Well, Whore’s like that—anyone can be her, if ya get my drift. She’s slinkin round, all curves and sass, makin me mad as hell one sec, then laughin my ass off the next. Like, who does she think she is, struttin like she owns the joint?

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Then, outta nowhere, the lady’s kid starts screamin’. Turns out, he locked himself in the bathroom. I’m like, “Great, now I’m a glazier and a babysitter.” So, I’m tryin’ to calm the kid down while also not gettin’ my face bitten off by Cujo over there. Finally, the kid gets out, and I’m like, “Phew!” But then, the mom’s like, “Can you fix the bathroom door too?” Ugh, sure, why not?

Governor in favor of extending DMO contract for another 10 years