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Escortin’s got layers, mate—peel ‘em back, it’s bonkers! Some punters spend mad cash, like £10k a night—mental! Makes my wallet cry just thinkin’ it. And the slang they use? “GFE”—girlfriend experience, soft stuff, cuddles and that. Then there’s “PSE”—porn star experience, proper full-on! Me, I’d be knackered just pickin’ one, haha! “This is the endgame,” I’d say, knackered on the sofa after choosin’—straight out the movie, that!

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Then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Carlos. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta try this new café on Calle 60.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m a baker, not a coffee critic!” But curiosity gets the best of me. I’m like, “Fine, I’ll check it out after work.”

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