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About Bayamon

She’s got this tat, faded rose, left ankle. Little known fact—cops miss it. Ties her to a pimp, Big Tony. Bastard’s a ghost, runs girls like cattle. Heard she slipped him once, hid in a church! Prossie in a pew, prayin—hilarious, right? “I’m not a mistake, I’m chosen!” she’d say, quotin Wes Anderson vibes. Surprised me, gutsy move. Kinda liked her then, spunk in spades.

The central plaza and its church

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Finally, the rain stops. I’m like, “Okay, let’s turn this day around.” I decide to hit up a local shop on Calle de la Amistad. They have the best merch. I walk in, and it’s like a treasure trove. I’m grabbing stuff left and right. But then, I see this shirt. It’s perfect. I go to pay, and my card gets declined. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!”

The queen’s discreet goodbye: Elizabeth II ‘slipped away’ painlessly in her sleep