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About San Juan

Thing is, it ain’t all sleazy. Some folks swear it heals—releases tension, boosts happy vibes. I’m like, “You don’t say?”—straight outta Fincher’s flick. Got me happy once, tried it with Marge. She’s all, “Homer, behave!” Didn’t work, tho—too ticklish! Made me mad when the masseuse charged extra. What a ripoff! “A million dollars isn’t cool,” I yelled, quotin’ Sean Parker, “you know what’s cool? Fair prices!” She didn’t laugh. Tough crowd.

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Isabel ice sucks a donkey kong-sized bbc through gloryhole.

Finally, the rain stops. I’m like, “Okay, let’s turn this day around.” I decide to hit up a local shop on Calle de la Amistad. They have the best merch. I walk in, and it’s like a treasure trove. I’m grabbing stuff left and right. But then, I see this shirt. It’s perfect. I go to pay, and my card gets declined. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!”

The ghost town of Tristanes, the abandoned Isabel II reservoir and the Hoyazo crater