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Oh, behave! I’m ramblin’ – but it’s dead lush, innit? You’re lyin’ there, half-naked, tunes playin’, and she’s whisperin’, “Relax, daddy-o.” I’m like, “I drink your milkshake!” – y’know, slurpin’ up the good vibes! Only downside? Costs a bomb sometimes. Nearly choked on me mojo when I saw the bill once – fifty quid for an hour? Bloody hell! Still, worth it for that groovy feelin’. You tried it, mate? Gotta, baby – it’s the cat’s pajamas!

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady named Doña Rosa shows up. She’s a regular, always bringing her little chihuahua, Chiquito. That dog is a legend! Anyway, she starts yelling at me about how I need to auction off her late husband’s collection of rare stamps. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a stamp dealer!” But she’s persistent, and I can’t say no to her. She’s got that fierce grandma vibe, ya know?

Meet the maker: the keeper of Puerto Rico’s coffee-making traditions