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So, sex-dating—fast, messy, exciting! Like in *The Pianist*, ya gotta play da keys right. “I played him like Chopin,” ya know? One time, I met dis chick online—boom, sparks! We chat, we flirt, she’s all “come over.” I’m thinkin’, *Hasta la vista*, loneliness! But den—surprise—she’s got three cats, all judgin’ me. Hair everywhere, I’m sneezin’—total disaster, man! Made me angry, like, “Why no warning?!” Still, kinda funny now—sex-dating’s a gamble, ya?

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After that fiasco, we finally make it to the delivery spot on Calle San Antonio. The client’s there, arms crossed, looking like he’s about to blow a gasket. I jump out, all smiles, “Hey, we made it!” He’s not having it. “You’re late!” I’m like, “Bro, traffic, potholes, you know how it is!”

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