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Alright, listen up, I’m freaking out here—sexual-massage, what a concept! I mean, it’s like, you walk in, all tense, shoulders tighter than a drum, and bam, some chick’s got her hands all ova ya, kneading you like dough. Pretty, pretty good, right? I’m analyzin’ this as a Business Analyst—supply, demand, it’s genius! People pay big bucks for this! I’m talkin’ hundreds sometimes, cash upfront, no questions. Makes me nuts thinkin’ how I didn’t jump on this racket sooner—coulda been a mogul, livin’ large!

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After that, I head over to Plaza de Recreo. It’s packed with people. Kids are running around, old folks are playing dominoes, and there’s this guy selling piraguas. I can’t resist. I grab a cherry one, and it’s like a party in my mouth. Sweet, icy goodness. But then, I see this kid drop his. I’m like, “Noooo!” It’s like watching a slow-motion disaster.

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