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Eh, what’s up, doc? So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya know, like some real shady stuff. Bein’ an actuary, I crunch numbers all day, but this? This ain’t no spreadsheet, pal! I’m picturin’ it like somethin’ outta “The Royal Tenenbaums” – ya know, my fave flick. Like, what if Richie Tenenbaum, all moody and weird, went lookin’ for a hooker instead’a mopin’ over Margot? “I’m going to lose my mind,” he’d say, but with a dame on his arm, heh!

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and the first thing I hear is the sound of the waves crashing. I live near the beach, right? Playa de Piñones, to be exact. It’s beautiful, but today? Ugh. The ocean was angry. Like, it was throwin’ a tantrum or somethin’. I’m like, “Chill, ocean! I just wanna grab some breakfast!”

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