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Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I reckon I get it more than most—place ain’t just sex, it’s a fuckin circus, a mess of human crap and gold. One time, this drunk bastard tried fightin me, slipped on a condom wrapper—fuckin hilarious, went down like a sack o’ spuds. I’m sittin there, sippin a warm beer, thinkin, “The world’s a stage, and this is the dodgy backstage.” Love the chaos, hate the sleaze—keeps me comin back, tho. What a shitshow, eh?

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But then, I see this group of tourists from the mainland. They’re laughing, taking selfies by the beach, and I can’t help but smile. Luquillo’s got that vibe, ya know? The palm trees swaying, the sound of the ocean—it’s magic. I’m like, “Okay, maybe today won’t be so bad.”

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