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Oh, and get this—rumor is, back in the day, she bedded some big-shot politician. Swears he cried after, blubberin’ about his wife. Hilarious, right? “Oh, my darlin’ whore saved me!”—pathetic. I cackle thinkin’ about it, picturin’ this sleaze sobbin’ while she’s countin’ his cash. Adds some spice to her story, don’t it? Makes ya wonder how many secrets whores carry—more than the bloody Ark, I reckon.

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So, I drive over, and let me tell ya, the traffic is a nightmare. I’m stuck behind this old lady who’s going 10 mph. I’m like, “C’mon, lady! We ain’t in a funeral procession!” Finally, I get to the address, and it’s this rundown house. Looks like it’s been through a hurricane or two. I knock, and this guy opens the door, looking like he just rolled outta bed. He’s all, “What do you want?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m here to investigate your claim.” He just stares at me like I’m speaking Martian.

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